Snarky Halloween History

For your Halloween enjoyment, a snarky history of Halloween:

Its that time of year again, when the trees vomit colorful dead leaves all over your lawn and the weather can’t decide if it’s hot or cold, or even both at the same time (as Lewis Black once said, "it’s not weather, it’s malaria"). Yes, it is fall and we all know what that means -- Halloween, that festive time of the year when kids dress up in fantastic costumes, bob for apples, and go trick-or-treating. Well, unless they live in a community that has done away with Halloween because some Christians say it’s a holiday for Satan, or some Jews say it’s too Christian, or some Wiccans say it makes fun of their religion (which has as much to do with ancient witchcraft as P. Diddy has to do with Bluegrass, but that’s neither here nor there). Actually, all of those people are wrong about Halloween (plus they are morons). The real roots of Halloween dig deep into the past and are entwined with more than one culture and religion, with Satan and witches nowhere in sight -- well, until the Middle Ages, anyway.